Lobster Sonnet*
1a. You are a poet who likes Lobster Thermidor.
1b. There are two types of people: gourmands and cat-lovers, but, thanks to Shemika, it's hard to trust chefs.
2. Stand up for your rights since your father is cruel and your mother has an I.Q. of 75.
3b. Furthermore, negroes pair caviar and eel.
4. You were a revolutionary in Chad, but now you are living the American dream.
5a. What is the difference between human and Afrobot?
5b. Afrobots are simulacra.
5c. Is Poetry a simulacrum of life?
6. Michelle left Barak and ran off with a Cyborg.
7a. Mexicans like tacos but would rather eat herring.
7b. Yes, but you are a negro who never eats okra.
8a. Women smoke menthols and spray mint perfume.
8b. On the other hand, they want tech jobs.
9a. Shemika traded a litre of Merlot for a bag of chips.
9b. Her cat was hungry.
10a. Shemika is a vegan.
10b. Everything in moderation.
10c. ...split peas, onion, natural flavors, starch, potato, carrot, yeast extracts, sea salt, garlic, parsley, lemon peel, spices, citric acid [made in a facility that uses peanuts and other food allergens]...
11a. Are you obsessive-compulsive?
11b. No. My life is chaotic. “Chance favors the prepared mind,”¹ but mine is in disarray.
12. Negroes pair eel and Merlot.
13a. I have a degree in cybersecurity but would rather earn a living as a line cook.
13b. What is holding you back?
13c. I'm allergic to the smell of olive oil, and my mother texts me constantly.
13d. Cybersecurity pays well, and you could move to Boston.
13e. I am sensitive to cold air and am not Catholic.
13f. You are a negro and might like Atlanta.
13g. I am looking for a different demographic.
13h. You should consider Miami.
13i. Gay men are moving to Osaka.
14. C'est ca.
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